DEAL ME IN
IRS Agent Looking For Advancement
Dear Mark: In your past columns you mention, "The IRS has uncompromising and, some think unscrupulous, means of determining whether a gambler without any losses has just created the appearance of loss with phony, handcrafted documents." Can you add to this? I am facing an audit and the agent has requested my gambling records.

Mark Pilarski

Jim B.

Hey, Jim, I think that statement I made is self-explanatory. For starters, don't show up with a brand new manufactured 07 calendar with the same colored ink for every entry with no corroborating evidence, nor perform a dumpsterdive at the racetrack to collect over $10,000 worth of losing tickets, all with the same date on them, and think this hare-brained idea is going to work. Plan on the agent having seen everything, being smarter than you, and being eager for promotion.

Bottom line, Jim: The burden of proof is yours, so the better your records, the better your survival chances. You arrange to have a descriptive gambling diary that keeps track of all wagering tickets, canceled checks, bank withdrawal statements made at the casino and credit receipts as your proof. Yes, I realize that it is impractical to record every pull of the handle, but a daily log of where you played, how much you gambled and how much you won or lost will be acceptable evidence for substantiating wins and losses.

Don't despair, Jim, if you don't have all that; if, for example, you used some form of a Player's Club Card. Because your play is tracked, the casino should be able to provide you a detailed win/loss statement regarding the machines you have played and detailing how much you've previously lost, which should be enough for Uncle Sam.

Dear Mark: I was wondering if you knew the answer to this. I have a vivid recollection of James Bond at some point betting on 22 Black and, of course, winning. Do you know if my recollection is correct, and what movie it might be in?

Vinnie C.

Yes, Vinnie, James Bond did enjoy both baccarat and roulette as a way to relax and unwind after saving the world. Although Jimmy's game of choice in most of the Bond movies was baccarat, there is a scene in Diamonds are Forever where Her Majesty's favorite secret agent is at the roulette table betting not on 22, but his favorite number 17.

Your confusion between the numbers 22 with 17 isn't all that surprising. You'll see 22 played at pivotal points in "Casablanca," "The Sting", and "Lost in America." "Have you tried '22' tonight?" was the line that starts one of the most famous roulette scenes ever on film.

It was in this scene that a young Bulgarian named Jan, desperately trying to win enough at the roulette wheel in Rick's Café American to pay for exit visas, is down to his last three chips when Richard Blaine, "Rick," leans over his shoulder and says, "Have you tried 22 tonight?" Then, louder for the benefit of the croupier: "I said 22." Jan puts his last three chips on 22; the croupier spins the roulette wheel and, of course, 22 wins.

After the croupier pushes a pile of chips onto 22, Rick advises Jan: "Leave it there." The croupier spins the wheel and 22 wins again. The croupier shoves another huge pile of chips onto 22. "Cash it in and don't come back" Rick gnarls to Jan. Here's where the narrative goes a bit hooey for me, Vinnie, posing the query, who ever leaves the casino a winner and never comes back?

A final myths straight question for you, Vinnie. Is it "and, of course, wins," because he's James Bond, or because Ian Fleming writes fiction?

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: "Man is a gaming animal. He must always be trying to get the better in something or other."

~Charles Lamb,

Essays of Elia, 1823

Got a question about gambling? Write to: Deal Me In, P.O. Box 1234, Traverse City, Michigan 49685 - e-mail: pilarski@markpilarski.com • To order Mark Pilarski's "Hooked on Winning" audio cassettes-laminated win cards package ($12.95 plus $2 S&H) call 1-800-WINNERS.